How to be Attention Whore:
The Complete Cohesive Guide to Being a Total Media Whore, Trend Follower, and Attention Seeker
By: Jazzy Quicksilver
The Complete Cohesive Guide to Being a Total Media Whore, Trend Follower, and Attention Seeker
By: Jazzy Quicksilver
How to Look the Part.
Looking like an attention whore is at least 50% of being one. In fact, if you look like an attention whore, you may, in fact one, or are on your way to becoming one. Male and female attention whores normally dress in different ways, however. And if you are going to dress like one, one needs to know the proper accessories.
Male vs. Female Dress
There are many variations of dress in the attention whore community, from the skanky, to the slutty, to the raunchy…but, seeing that they all tend to mean the same thing, we can focus on one faucet of the primary female attention whore attire. To be a proper attention whore, a girl may wear revealing tops and bottoms. The shirt must be cut low enough that one looking upon said female, would nearly be able to see said female's nipples. It must also be cut high enough to show said female's flawless abdomen, even if said flawless abdomen is not flawless, but rather, quite flawed. The proper attention whore also tends to be a Media Whore (media whore – a person who depends on the media to dictate their life, their thoughts, and their actions, commonly confused with the Trend Whore.), so, while wearing the previously stated outfit, the proper attention whore will be found with her friends, talking aboutthe OC or One Tree Hill, or with the person that said female dotes upon. A proper attention whore must flaunt everything that she has, even if it is nothing at all. She will commonly stick her breasts in said person's face, or drop something. The correct way to drop something is to not actually drop it, but, drop it in a cute way. Then, the proper attention whore will choose from two acceptable actions: making it seem like an "accident" or, bending over just right so that the rear is in perfect sight of the person of interest. This is the function of only one type female attention whore's clothing, however. These other types are popular with both male and female attention whores.
There are many variations of dress in the attention whore community, from the skanky, to the slutty, to the raunchy…but, seeing that they all tend to mean the same thing, we can focus on one faucet of the primary female attention whore attire. To be a proper attention whore, a girl may wear revealing tops and bottoms. The shirt must be cut low enough that one looking upon said female, would nearly be able to see said female's nipples. It must also be cut high enough to show said female's flawless abdomen, even if said flawless abdomen is not flawless, but rather, quite flawed. The proper attention whore also tends to be a Media Whore (media whore – a person who depends on the media to dictate their life, their thoughts, and their actions, commonly confused with the Trend Whore.), so, while wearing the previously stated outfit, the proper attention whore will be found with her friends, talking aboutthe OC or One Tree Hill, or with the person that said female dotes upon. A proper attention whore must flaunt everything that she has, even if it is nothing at all. She will commonly stick her breasts in said person's face, or drop something. The correct way to drop something is to not actually drop it, but, drop it in a cute way. Then, the proper attention whore will choose from two acceptable actions: making it seem like an "accident" or, bending over just right so that the rear is in perfect sight of the person of interest. This is the function of only one type female attention whore's clothing, however. These other types are popular with both male and female attention whores.
Faux-punk/ faux-goth – Better known as "those who live in Hot Topic", these two are quite similar. They only buy their clothing from Hot Topic, as well as jewelry, bags, hats, and other accessories.
Faux-emo – These attention whores tend to look like Rivers Cuomo (Weezer), and are often found foaming at the mouth over the musical and fashion styling of groups like Dashboard Confessional and MCR.
"Vote for Pedro" – Pedro shirt? Check. Pedro hat? Check. Pedro g-string? Check. If it isn't Napoleon Dynamite, it isn't worth wearing.
Male attention whores, on the other hand, are more commonly either one of the above factions, or, the hard to pull-off "I'm Not an Attention Whore" which is normal, everyday clothing. If a male wants to pull of this difficult style of whoredom he has to have the correct attitude of being one, or else, he will fail at being an attention whore, and will be looked down upon as a normal, average, individual.
How to Act the Part
Attention Whores will do just about anything to be noticed. They may run around, beating things with sticks and singing loudly while the people around them are trying to get perfectly plausible work done, they may moon a crowd in an assembly, flash a group on Mardi Gras, or simply be anywhere where there is a definite spotlight. Either way, there are particular ways to go about being noticed.
Attention Whores will do just about anything to be noticed. They may run around, beating things with sticks and singing loudly while the people around them are trying to get perfectly plausible work done, they may moon a crowd in an assembly, flash a group on Mardi Gras, or simply be anywhere where there is a definite spotlight. Either way, there are particular ways to go about being noticed.
The Slutty vs. the Non-Slutty Approach
The slutty approach normally has more to do with physical appearance. The attention whore must think highly of their own physical beauty, even if said physical beauty is nonexistent. This approach is usually best done whilst intoxicated by some legal or illegal substance, and ideally will lead to an appearance on a "Girls/Guys Gone Wild" –esque show. The ideal slutty attention whore will behave in a matter seen above, wearing said attention whore clothes, and is very willing to show any part of their body. Male slutty attention whores, better known as man-whores, are always willing to show their bodies as well, and are frequently seen running around topless, even in frigid temperatures. These attention whores are ideally in better shape than most will be in their entire life, and tend to obsess over their muscles and bodies. The attention whore may also fall into the conception that a person of interest of the opposite sex will be more attracted to them if they make out with a member of the same sex, even if they have no attraction to said member of the same sex.
The slutty approach normally has more to do with physical appearance. The attention whore must think highly of their own physical beauty, even if said physical beauty is nonexistent. This approach is usually best done whilst intoxicated by some legal or illegal substance, and ideally will lead to an appearance on a "Girls/Guys Gone Wild" –esque show. The ideal slutty attention whore will behave in a matter seen above, wearing said attention whore clothes, and is very willing to show any part of their body. Male slutty attention whores, better known as man-whores, are always willing to show their bodies as well, and are frequently seen running around topless, even in frigid temperatures. These attention whores are ideally in better shape than most will be in their entire life, and tend to obsess over their muscles and bodies. The attention whore may also fall into the conception that a person of interest of the opposite sex will be more attracted to them if they make out with a member of the same sex, even if they have no attraction to said member of the same sex.
The non-slutty approach, on the other hand, is better known as the annoying kid approach, where said attention whore acts like a moron or a person that forgot to take their ADHD medication. To do this, an attention whore must be willing to do nearly anything to be noticed, from walking on balcony railings, to banging on pianos with drumsticks, to streaking, mooning, blowing things up, anything that gets noticed is fair game. These attention whores are normally either the "Vote for Pedro" or "I'm Not an Attention Whore" breed of attention seekers.
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